Abyss
by Queenbeth2
Summary: I didn't expect the video James left to torment Edward would be the key to unlocking my memories. I can't tell the difference between reality and memories anymore. Can vampires go insane? Darkfic JxA
1. Chapter 1

DC: I don't own it

Summary: Every night I drift further and further into the recesses of my own mind. Further than Edward's mind can probe. Further than Jasper can reach me. I can't escape that place, even in my new life. Can a vampire lose grip on reality and slip back into insanity? Darkfic AxJ

Very dark themes. I can't for the life of me remember where Alice is from. I'm thinking Louisiana for some reason. Anyway I'm trying to write this a little differently. Especially as the story goes on. Her present and her memories will start to overlap.

Chapter 1,

The funny thing about chain reactions was how nobody ever expected them. Well some of them were obvious. Carlisle crashing his car because of a reckless driver was obviously going to mean more work for Charlie, an increase in both insurance premiums and a nice job for Martin at the autoshop because unlike myself Carlisle is attached to his cars and doesn't seem to realize that you can just buy a new one.

Usually I'm pretty good about predicting chain reactions. I can predict everything from the weather to human lives. I jumped up into a tree and sighed. It started with a tape. It was meant to torment Edward, and believe me the pussy hasn't shut up about it, but I was the one feeling its effects the hardest. That tape held the match that would spark light over the darkness of my memories. I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to ignore them. How was I supposed to go about doing that? Emmett and Rosalie were away in Africa pretending to be away at college when really Emmett was doing something stupid like poking an elephant with a stick. Yep, he just got stepped on. So I couldn't work on the fashion program with Rosie.

Edward was gone. After we nearly killed Bella we had to leave. I missed her and I missed him. But at least I had Jasper for company.

Speaking of Jasper...

"Oh my Alice, always lost in wonderland," Jasper teased from the base of the tree. I smiled and slipped down into his arms. We were alone. We liked to save our kisses for private. Pecks on the cheek or forehead don't count. A kiss kiss was when he cradled my cheeks with his gentle rough hands and touched his lips to mine. I touched his scarred face and he smiled at me.

"If I am do you plan to find me?" I asked, twisting some of his hair around my finger. He was much taller than I was but I liked it. I was his pixie. I was his life and he was mine.

"I'll always come and find you."

He held my hand and we walked through the forest. It was summer and wet. My bare feet sunk into the ground a bit. It reminded me of the hot summers in Louisiana. I was loving what I could remember. A small yellow cottage shaded by trees dripping with spanish moss. The ground seemed to always be spongy. I remember liking to walk barefoot in it because I couldn't stand heels.

Wow things had changed.

"Remembering something wonderful?" Jasper asked.

"My home," I answered, "how it was always sticky outside and inside from the kids."

"Kids?"

"One," I answered with a slight smile, "I married young. I was fifteen and had my son at sixteen."

"Old fashioned," he teased. He had a point. Around that time history class told me that people were marrying later.

"I suppose. I remember wanting one of those big dresses like the wealthy women had."

"Just say what one and I'll get it for you," he promised. I smiled at him. He spoiled me.

I was happy to have memories. To know who I was. For so long I would listen to the others talk about their lives as humans and I could never contribute. But now I knew my beginning. I was a housewife in the deep south. I made cajun dishes that were spicy and bursting with flavor. I tucked my babies into bed and sang them lullabies. I also knew my ending. I was alone and in an institution. But I was going to focus on the positive. I had a man that loved me back then and a man that loves me now.

Without warning I jumped into Jasper's arms and hugged him tight. He was a bit surprised but hugged me anyway.

---

Jasper read to me that night. Carlisle was playing the piano for Esme. He wasn't as good as Edward who had just that much free time on his hands but I wasn't going to hold it against him. I listened to Jasper's silken voice read the third installment of a series we both enjoyed about a mind reader from Louisiana and the vampires in her life. This one was a good one and I was getting worked up. Like with any good series I usually shipped a couple. Jasper generally didn't but this time he was rooting for the main character to stay with her vampire boyfriend.

I wanted it otherwise and we had a bet going on who would get their way.

But I wasn't in the mood for vampire stories. Well, at least not this one. I was interested in a different kind of vampire. I leaned up and whispered in his ear, smiling as he shivered a bit at my suggestion to go up to the bedroom.

Nobody made love like Jasper. Sure I had fuzzy memories of one other person, but still. I tilted my head back as he kissed my neck slowly. The man was a god when it came to this. He didn't know just how truly sexy he was. He looked at me with his long hair hanging around his face. I smiled and kissed him. We had a battle for dominance and I just gave in. As he massaged my tongue with his and thoroughly kissed me, he caressed my breast and teased my nipple. I moaned into his mouth and heard him chuckle.

Downstairs I could hear Carlisle sigh. I knew what was coming next.

"Looks like we've got competition," I giggled.

"Well let's show the old folks how it's done," Jasper purred.

---

I was married to Harry Wilson on a sticky afternoon in late summer. I was fifteen and he was twenty. I wore my mother's dress with a lace veil. It was the only time I wore a big dress with a hoop skirt and everything. I felt like a southern plantation belle.

I was nervous that night. I wore nothing but my cotton chemise. He was much bigger than I was and more experienced as he had been married once before. His wife had died in childbirth. That thought scared me. I was a tiny thing, I wasn't near ready to be a mom or anything like that. He sat on the bed and I joined him. He laid me back and slid my chemise up to my stomach. He stroked me a bit but I was too nervous to think about the way it felt. He kissed my lips and once on my neck.

"I apologize if I hurt you," he said.

Hurt me?! I knew absolutely nothing about what was about to happen! I looked up at him nervously. He kissed my forehead and I nearly yelped in surprise as he slid into me. I had no idea what was going to happen but I didn't expect that! He moved a bit and grunted. There was an odd slapping noise but I had no idea what it was. Then he stiffened a bit and a few seconds later he pulled out of me.

"Goodnight Alice," he murmured.

I nodded. I turned onto my side and I felt a small tickle in my stomach when he put his arm around my waist and held my hand.

"I love you Alice, even if I can't show it."

"I love you too Harry," I mumbled. He kissed my cheek and we fell asleep.

---

"What are you thinking about?" Jasper asked with a smile against my forehead as we laid in bed.

"The first time I had sex. He was very unenthusiastic and dull compared to you but it was pretty good for a first time. It didn't hurt."

"Well as long as I am the best," Jasper shrugged. We weren't newborns but sometimes it seemed like it. I straddled his hips and he smiled at me. I loved when he held my hands with his, they covered them completely. I was incredibly tiny. Somehow Jasper made me feel like that was the best part of me. He came up and kissed me. He held our hands between us, against where his heart would be. "Walking into that diner was the best decision I ever made."

I smiled. He often told me that even if he didn't need to. I slid my hands out of his and hugged him tight around his neck. He hugged me back with enough strength to shatter a human. "I love you Jasper."

In public we weren't really a couple. Sure we held hands and sometimes a kiss on the cheek here or there. But in private we were soul mates. I don't think it was possible for me to be this happy in my human life with my husband. I don't think he held me the way Jasper did or made me feel as perfect and desired. I don't think he smelled as good either. Jasper, who smelled like cinnamon and vanilla for some reason, smelled like my favorite candle sore. Then again vampires were meant to smell nice. Edward and Esme smelled like flowers (and he wonders why we thought he was gay), Carlisle smelled like the hospital so strongly that we couldn't pick up his natural scent, Emmett smelled like the woods after the rain and Rosalie bothered with perfume even though she had a soft fruity scent.

As for me? I don't know exactly what I smelled like. Jasper said I smell like a summers day in the south. I was sure I didn't smell like a swamp. He said that if he laid beside me and closed his eyes he'd think that he was outside because of my scent.

I loved my Jazzy. Possessive? Maybe. He had offers from human girls before but politely turned them down before walking with his hand in mine. Vampire girls could see his scars and therefore tended to go for Edward. Who would promptly turn them down reinforcing our gay theory.

I loved his scars. As we laid in our bed I traced them with my finger.

"I know they're horrific memories of your time in the wars, but your scars are so sexy."

He laughed as he always did. He knew that I desired him probably even more than I did when I met him.

"Well your flawless skin is sexy," he said.

"Jazzy," I said in my sugar sweet voice, "I love you."

"I love you too. What do you want?"

"To go to the mall."

He chuckled and sat up. He usually gave me what I wanted.

---

I know it was a huge tourist attraction but I still thought that the mall was lacking something. But then again I had been shopping in all the fashion capitals in the world. I suppose it had a sort of charm to it. Three floors, a movie theatre, a massive food court, several shops and a small amusement park in the center.

Then there was the lego center where Jasper was happily picking out what he wanted. He loved making models out of legos. There was a platform set up by the elevator where they were having a guitar hero contest.

"What about you little lady?" the host asked me.

I hated being called little lady.

"Think you can take on our champion?"

"Like a girl could beat me," the champ muttered under his breath.

"Sure, why not," I shrugged. I got up on the platform and he handed me the guitar. "Okay I just push these buttons and move this white thing?" I asked in a sugar sweet voice.

"Uh huh."

I flipped my setting on expert and he looked at me like I was nuts.

"Go!"

Was I the only person in the world that thought Freebird was overrated and not even that good? I pondered that while I hit every single note perfectly. There were a lot of songs out that got a big hype but I couldn't stand. Like that whiny song about the girl on the subway being beautiful. Stalker much!? Jasper sang it to me once when he was mad at me. That song was playing on the radio. It reminded me of a song that Edward would sing.

Wow I had a lot of animosity towards my brother lately. But then again Bella was becoming one of my dear friends and he decided to push us away from her. Selfish brat. I loved that house too! I lost my friend and my house! Edward was off moping too. I mean if you love her so much then suck it up and bite her already! She wants to be a vampire.

I had don't fear the reaper stuck in my head and I kind of wanted to know why.

After the song I went to find Jasper. He was standing with several lego bags.

"Jasper Hale you are a child," I teased.

He picked up the bags and we walked into the small park. He paid for some tickets and we got onto the roller coaster. We laughed the entire time. After we got off we went to all my favorite stores and I had a reward for Jasper because he was being so good about this.

"You have one job," I said, sitting him down on a frilly bench.

"Do I?"

"You have to tell me how each garment looks on me."

I had thrown him off by shopping in a department store. He was expecting the sun dresses he had seen, not what I had hidden underneath.

"Alice will I still be young when you get done in there?" he asked with a laugh.

"You tell me," I murmured. I opened the dressing room door and his eyes popped. I wore a pink lace teddy with a web of black lace over my breasts.

Then Jasper did something I never dreamed he's have the courage to do. He pushed me back into the dressing room, locking the door behind us, and pushed me gently onto the bench. We couldn't have full sex because of our combined strengths, so I expected him to make out with me. I'm rarely surprised, but I certainly was when he spread my legs and ravished me with his tongue.

I had no choice but to buy the teddy after that reaction.

---

I remember hating Harry as I pushed his child out. It was spring and hot. It was even hotter because my face was flushed and I was working every muscle I had. Even my toes! My mother held my shoulders and moped my forehead.

"You're doing beautifully Alice," she beamed, "I'm so proud of you!"

I just screamed, drowning out the midwife's coaching. My head was going to burst. I was scared because of a dream I had where I almost died.

"Alice...stop pushing for a moment..."

GLADLY!

I fell against my mother, my head spinning. The midwife was telling me that the baby was coming out buttocks forward. My mother's shoulder made a nice pillow.

"He...okay...gonna...born..."

I wasn't coherent. The pain was overwhelming. My body wanted to expel the baby but couldn't.

The midwife dug into her bag. She called for the doctor who was waiting if there was a problem. I requested it out of fear. He came in. Through my blurry eyes I could see blonde hair and his touch was icy cold. He cut into me and I seemed to lose my focus. He coached me and soon my son was born. But the doctor wasn't done. He cleaned me up and examined the baby. Then everything went black.

---

I don't know if I had fainted or couldn't remember more. But I realized I knew how I could find out.

"Carlisle," I said, walking into his study. He looked up from the medical journal he was reading.

"What's up?"

"Were you ever in Louisiana?"

"For a short while. A month or so. It was too sunny."

"I think you delivered my baby when I was human."

Carlisle thought for a moment. When he put effort into it, he could remember almost every patient he ever had.

"A breech baby right?"

I nodded.

"Well how about that," he chuckled. "I'm surprised you remember that."

"I keep getting memories from my past. It started with that video James left behind."

Carlisle was smiling. He was always happy when we did amazing things. Clearly remembering bits of my human life after a century of nothing was amazing to him.

"I don't know if there's more memory there or if I blacked out."

"Oh you blacked out from the pain. Sweetie I had to basically cut the baby out with nothing to numb the pain. I highly doubt you had any other children. You almost died. Would have if your mother hadn't called me to supervise."

"I had a dream the night before. A premonition."

Carlisle looked serious. I wished I was Edward and could see his mind. I wanted to know why he was looking so seriously at me.

"You gonna share with the class or should I just leave?" I asked.

"Do your memories seem to have any particular order?"

I shrugged. I only had about five new ones and loads of trivial ones like my favorite color, foods or where I buried the puppy that died when I was seven. Why?"

"I'm just worried...I can't imagine the time you spent in the institution was happy."

That was obvious. I knew he was worried but I was curious. I actually enjoyed finding out who I was. It was like reading a diary that had been lost for years. I wanted to know who I was in both lives.

"Don't worry Carlisle, I'll be fine," I assured him. He smiled his warm smile and I left. I went into the living room and stretched out in the sunlight under the bay window. If I could sleep this would have been the perfect place to take a nap. So I grabbed a book and read it instead. I know Carlisle had the best of intentions but there was nothing wrong with remembering my past. Besides the asylum what was there that could hurt me? Also, I was a vampire and my mind worked differently. I would just ignore anything bad. I wasn't Edward after all. I'm not one to dwell.

TBC

Like it? Hate it? Let me know. I've written in first person once but this is the first time I'm going to try a foggy stream of consciousness. I hope I can do it without being too confusing, I don't want to turn this into Memento or something. And now I'm picturing Guy Pierce playing Jasper. Yummy.


	2. Chapter 2

DC: I don't own it

Thanks to my reviewers

Chapter 2,

William, my son, was baptized shortly after his birth. He wore a white gown made of silk and a bonnet to keep the sun from burning his head. I bounced him lightly in my arms as he grew fussy. He was a cute little baby with my dark black hair and his father's pale blue eyes. Harry held him as a prayer was spoken and as he was dipped into the beautiful basin of holy water. I held him afterwards and sat under a tree. The spanish moss hung down further on this particular tree and my son was mesmerized by it.

His father joined us. I leaned against his broad chest and we both gazed at our newborn. William kept reaching up for the moss. Chuckling, Harry snagged some and let his son feel it.

"He's a beautiful boy," Harry praised. He kissed my temple lightly. I was startled by the sudden display of affection but touched. We smiled as William smiled at us. He made a little noise and sucked on his fingers. That meant he wanted his afternoon meal. I took him back home to feed him even though I would have much rather stayed outside under the shade of the tree.

I sat in an old rocking chair and rocked slowly as he fed. I wasn't going to have another baby but I felt okay by that. I had my beautiful baby and my husband was happy for a son.

---

Jasper always knew when I was lost in my memories because he said my eyes glassed over a bit. When I came back he would usually ask me about what I remembered. When I told him about my son he seemed a little less happy. I knew he wished we could have children of our own, but that wasn't going to happen. I had a theory that if we took one of my frozen eggs and his sperm and just put them together in a human that we would have our baby. But good luck finding a human to volunteer.

I'm sure if we begged Bella hard enough she'd cave, but Edward wouldn't have it. I was still mad at him for breaking it off with Bella. Man up punk! Lord almighty!

"When are you going to forgive him?" Jasper asked.

"When he stops being a stupid wiener!"

"Your insults remind me of a fifth grader."

"Your face reminds me of a fifth grader," I grumbled. Jasper laughed and opened up his book again. He just made sure to stick his tongue out at me first.

"Alice," Esme said walking in, "could you take this to Carlisle at the hospital? I have to finish these blue prints."

"Sure," I said jumping up. She handed me the files that Carlisle had left behind and I grabbed my keys.

---

The hospital in Minneapolis was much bigger than the one in Forks. Carlisle worked the night shift now. He didn't like it but we thought it was fine. Especially since we didn't have to go to school. God we loved that.

We still had a story to stick to. We were home schooled according to his story because, and this was my favorite part, Edward was a bubble boy who couldn't leave the residence. Carlisle was his primary physician and that was why he had to stay home with him all day.

So on my way to the hospital I dialed Edward's cell. No answer as usual. He was always very serious about his moping.

"Hey Edward we're in Minnesota again, Carlisle is working in Minneapolis as a night shift doctor. We're all home schooled this time around and you're missing it! Oh and you're a bubble boy. That's Carlisle's story for why nobody sees you and why we're home schooled. Come home soon we all miss you, bye."

A few minutes later I was walking into the hospital and I got a text back.

_I hate you so much right now. Tell Carlisle I'm not a bubble boy!_

I laughed and went up to the receptionist.

"Name and emergency?"

"Alice Cullen and I'm here to see my dad. He forgot some paperwork at home."

"Alright, I'll call up and find out where he is."

I sighed. I already knew the outcome but I had to wait anyway.

"Dr. Cullen is in surgery right now. If you don't mind waiting he'll be done in a few minutes."

I took a seat. He was closing up anyway and would be down soon. I smiled when a little boy wandered up to me.

"Hi," he said.

"Hey there cutie," I cooed. "Where's your mommy?"

"There," he said pointing to a woman who was filling out paperwork. "I got a booboo."

He pointed to a cut on his head. He would need probably two or three stitches tops.

"Oh you sure did, what happened?"

"I ran around the pool," he admitted.

"Did you slip and fall?"

He nodded. "It hurt."

He ran back to his mother when she called him. He waved to me over his mother's shoulder and I returned it. I felt sad. I looked down at the papers in my lap. It was paperwork for a few operations Carlisle had performed. I didn't really think much about humans dying but I couldn't help it. They were so fragile.

---

We lived in a small house near a river. William was two and he was my world. We played outside in the warm sunshine almost every day.

The sky was cloudy. Harry said there was a large storm on its way. I was worried about a hurricane but I was probably overreacting. I didn't have a strange dream telling me so. I loved my husband but I didn't dare tell him about the dreams. They were almost like premonitions. That's something that would land me in the asylum faster than I could say wait I'm not crazy.

The rain started as we were walking back from the doctors. William had had a cough for a while that turned out to be nothing serious as of yet. I didn't believe him. I also didn't want to be walking home. I had a premonition that we would hit the storm. Harry didn't think we would. I kept trying to tell him that we needed to stay in town because something bad would happen. The doctor seemed a bit worried but Harry said we needed to get home.

It was pouring down rain. I used Harry's coat to shield William from the rain. He was whimpering in fright as he heard the thunder.

"Harry! We need to stop!"

"We aren't stopping!" he snapped. "We have to get back home before the storm gets too bad. The river will flood."

The premonitions always hit me like a clear reality. As if I was already doing the action. I saw us crossing the bridge just as the river swept it away. I saw my baby boy in the water, screaming.

"Harry the bridge won't hold! We have to wait!"

"Don't be so scared, Alice, I'll protect you."

"No! Harry listen to me!" I demanded, grabbing his hand. He looked at me.

"I saw it. I saw it so clearly, the bridge breaking as the water rushed over it! Think of our son!"

Harry was looking at me strangely. He came out of his stunned silence and shook his head.

"If we stay out here he'll catch cold. You both will. I know that for sure. Alice I won't let you both get sick and die. I love you too much."

I was touched. That was probably the most affection he'd shown in our entire marriage. He held my hand and unbuttoned his shirt. He walked with me under his arm, shielded by the shirt. We reached the bridge and the water was rushing. Harry went across to test the bridge. He hesitated as a loud clap of thunder made William cry. He reached the shore and it was my turn. I took a deep breath and began across.

Maybe I was wrong. I think I was. The bridge groaned. I looked over and saw a wall of muddy water. It crashed into me and I was caught up in the water along with pieces of the bridge. William was screaming in my arms. I had to hold onto him. I was on my back, of that much I was sure. My skirt caught on something and I stopped flowing. I felt four large hands grabbing me. Two of them belonged to Harry.

I saw him reach for William. The boy slipped from my wet arms with a scream. I didn't hear myself screaming for him over the sound of my heat against my ribs. He was swept away by the raging waters. Harry dove in after him and I was pulled out completely. Jack Wright, our neighbor, was holding me tight as I struggled to get back into the water after my son.

"HARRY!" I screamed. I couldn't hear William crying for me anymore. I saw Harry hit one of the large stones on the shore. Then he went under and I never saw him again.

---

"Alice, sweetheart, what's wrong?"

I snapped out of my mind and noticed Carlisle. How long had I been gone?

"You look upset," he said, sitting with me.

I handed him the files. He wouldn't let me go until he knew I was safe.

"My husband and son died during a storm. I should be relieved...they didn't...nevermind."

"You know I'm going to tell Jasper about this," Carlisle warned. "I know when you need him."

"I'll be fine," I assured him. Carlisle didn't look convinced. I didn't expect him to be. "Really, dad, I'm fine."

Carlisle sighed. There wasn't much he could do. "Alright. Hug?"

I smiled and hugged him. He rubbed my back lightly as he did when he was feeling protective. When we pulled apart he kissed my forehead as a father would.

"Be safe."

I nodded. "I promise I will."

I knew he was watching me leave with the same worried expression as always. I could hear the nurses giggling to each other about how he was such a loving father. They hated that he was married. Even before he was my father figure, I never saw Carlisle's sexual appeal. Sure he was cute, the way a brother was. He was huggable. I laughed and got into the car.

---

When I got home I knew Jasper had gotten Carlisle's call from the way he looked up when I came home. I didn't say anything and just went to the computer and checked my e-mail. Tanya had written me to talk about her new flame (finally she got over Edward) and to ask if we had heard from Edward. Katie was asking if we would be coming up to live in Alaska again.

I pulled up google. I rarely googled but this was an exception.

_Mary Alice Brandon Wilson_

I came up under several results. Most of them were useless so I refined my search by adding late 1800's.

There I was. I recognized myself in an old scanned photograph. Mary Alice Brandon II. I had forgotten that I was named after my mother. She would call me Alice to avoid confusion. I remembered then that I used to have an older brother named after my father so he was called junior.

"My parents were unoriginal," I sighed. Jasper chuckled.

"How do you think I feel? I'm like the sixteenth Jasper in my family. Oh hey remember when you gave me crap for looking up my family history?"

"You don't even know that's what I'm doing!"

"Do now."

"Crap!"

He laughed and went back to watching tennis. I swear that was like his favorite sport. I went back to the computer. At least I didn't obsess over the civil war like some vampires did.

"I don't obsess," Jasper said.

"Get out of my head!"

That was when we knew we spent too much time together. We were both predictable to each other.

He kept laughing and I wasn't going to let him get away with that. So I got up and rushed into the room and headbutted him right in the stomach. He captured me as he usually did.

"You my little pixie are making a mistake challenging me!"

"Nonsense!" I cried as he pinned me and tickled me.

After laughing so hard we, who don't need to breathe, were actually winded. It was a weird feeling but it found us laying on the soft carpet in the morning sunlight. My head rested on his stomach and he was playing with my hair.

"Do you want to talk about it now?"

"My son was everything to me. I loved him with all I had. Harry was a good father and a good husband. They both died because I wasn't strong enough to tell the man I was supposedly to spend the rest of my life with the truth about me."

Jasper was quiet and patient while I talked about loving someone else. That's what I loved most of all about him. He knew that he held my heart firmly in his hand and his in mine. I was allowed to find Brad Pitt hot without him getting jealous and I was allowed to dwell on the kind man I had once been married to.

I sat up and sighed. Harry had always been so kind to me and so gentle. He was never affectionate. He probably kissed me maybe once a month. We didn't make love we had sex to have babies. But he always gave me his coat when I was chilly or shielded me from the rain. The few times he did tell me that he loved me were that much more special. Then there was William with his sweet cherub cheeks and musical laugh. I remembered playing with him in the shallow waters of the river, dipping his little feet and laughing as he clapped his wet little hands.

If there had been a way to have a baby with Jasper I'd give anything to have it. I felt his arms around my shoulders and I squeezed them tight when I thought about the first time my son was sick or when he nearly fell into a well because Harry had turned his back for one moment. I remembered his screams as the river carried him away from me and my memories revived finding his tiny body for me to see. I never saw what he looked like but I saw them carry a little bundle.

"I had seen it," I sobbed, "I knew the bridge would give out but I didn't believe myself. I had confessed to Harry that I was having premonitions but I believed him anyway when he said we would be fine."

Jasper was silent. He listened to me cry dry tears as he stroked my hair and cuddled me. When I calmed down he spoke.

"Alice, love, you had to make a call. Either way you were going to lose him. Toddlers get sick very easily and you said he was already weak from an infection."

"But he was my baby," I cried, as if that changed anything. "Jazzy I don't want to remember them anymore!"

"I know sweetheart," he murmured. He carried me up to bed and tucked me in. I wouldn't sleep but it was comfortable. The bed was soft and warm and it smelled like happy times. I closed my eyes as if a comfortable sleep was going to follow. Tucked under the fluffy quilt made me feel secure. I could feel Jasper's weight beside me and his fingertips brush lightly through my hair. He hummed a soft lullaby and I smiled at him.

"Jasper..."

"Hush I'm singing you to sleep," he said with a smile. I opened my eyes and I was looking right into his. I know Bella thought she had the perfect boyfriend in Edward, but that's because she never had Jasper. I knew that there was never a woman in the world who felt more loved by her husband.

TBC

Sorry it took so long. I've been internet less for a while :\


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